Monday, April 13, 2015

future elles

(ok I am going to start this randomly i just totally wrote my own name with an i in it...who am i? why don't I know how to write my own name )

Now to what I really wanted to write about. Saving eggs. I am so happy I was able to go through a fertility treatment ,no matter how much pain I was in the during the recovery days after. I was lucky.

I was lucky because my cancer doesn't have stages and I am not in critical condition. I was able to have a window to do the 6 week fertility preservation program.  When my doctor called me to tell me that the medicine wasn't working and we should start thinking about a transplant my immediate thought process went to CHEMO. This meant that I would be going through the hardest core of hard core chemotherapies that there is and what happens when you go through chemo - your future babies die. Well thats a little harsh but the chemotherapy can, and usually does, deplete all of the eggs in your body. And as we know women are born with all the eggs they will have in their entire lifetime. So I was lucky. I spent time researching fertility treatments and all that it entails online during the two weeks we were waiting to figure out what the next steps would be.

I was lucky because I had this in-between time that I could use for the fertility preservation regime. I was lucky but I still had to speak my mind, and made it known I wanted to try and go through fertility preservation. I was the one who had to bring it up, my Dr. never mentioned it, I was never asked about my future plans. I had to be my own advocate, and I knew that I needed to try and save a few future babies for what I want my future to be. It's not right for this cancer thing to take away things that I want to happen in the future. It's not right that it can take this thing that is so natural to our bodies. It shouldn't have the ability to take away my chance to have a baby and become a Mom. So I fought for my future and what I want my future to look like.

I was lucky because it worked out. My parents and I had many conversations about what the cost of this treatment would be on me and my body. I had to go off of Revlimid (the medicine that was keeping me balanced, even though it has stopped doing its job properly - hence why we are in this situation) for a month and then give my self daily injections of hormones for two weeks, get blood drawn every other day and ultrasounds, all to make sure the hormones were working properly.  Nobody can really tell you how your body will react and there was a lot of concern about how I would cope not being on anything to regulate the MDS. My decision was that I would follow through with the fertility treatments unless I started to show signs off low blood counts. I was lucky because this didn't happen. I was lucky because I was able to follow through with the fertility treatments and save some eggs.

I was lucky because I was able to have the best people caring for me during the whole process.  The moment I walked into the conference room with the nurse I knew that I was in the right place. I was able to go through the MD Anderson network / through my doctor and be seen by MD Anderson's Oncology/ Fertility Preservation Doctor, Terri Woodard and her nurse Deborah Holman. They helped me figure out what would be best, freezing eggs, and walked me through the whole treatment step by step. I felt secure in my decision and that I was fully supported in my journey to freeze some eggs.

I was lucky because I now have 6 frozen eggs chilling (literally) in a room somewhere waiting for their time to come (wwaaayyy in the future). I was lucky because I stood up for myself and advocated for what was important to me, and trying to freeze eggs was just that. I have figured out in this journey and by talking to others, that you must stand up for yourself. You are your best advocate - you need to make sure your voice is heard.

I was lucky because I was able to go through this treatment and follow it through to the end. Other young women with cancer aren't so lucky, yes they have other options, but I wish that every woman who has cancer has the option to save their fertility or at least try to save it - something that cancer has no right to take.



3 comments:

  1. Bless you for writing about this..........the most important thing you say, besides talking about the fertility treatments is "YOU have to be your own advocate!" ABSOLUTLEY! I'm so happy for you and proud of you for carrying through with this wish and desire.

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  2. You do have a voice, and you are willing to be heard. Love and Hugs

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  3. So proud of you. You are so Strong.Everyday I say a prayer for you on this your journey for your cure.Amazing young woman.

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